tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post116160650460850577..comments2023-09-11T08:59:45.073-04:00Comments on The Smarshy Files: 2 WeeksSmarshyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15315526599497405116noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161807867949774222006-10-25T16:24:00.000-04:002006-10-25T16:24:00.000-04:00Good luck making this tough decision. Sorry that ...Good luck making this tough decision. Sorry that you & M have to go through this. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161717583182749772006-10-24T15:19:00.000-04:002006-10-24T15:19:00.000-04:00Hubby and I had similar serious conversation about...Hubby and I had similar serious conversation about 2 months ago and we decided NOT to pursue treatment. HUGS either way.<BR/><BR/>Sleep well. Sounds like you are depressed. I have no idea why. ;-)KatieMchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11879680348120419952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161703069416076962006-10-24T11:17:00.000-04:002006-10-24T11:17:00.000-04:00Have a good nap? ;-)Have a good nap? ;-)Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08976243129786879351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161699511696294762006-10-24T10:18:00.000-04:002006-10-24T10:18:00.000-04:00One of the ways in which people resolve their infe...One of the ways in which people resolve their infertility is to decide to stop the treatments... I wish you and M and Buggins all the strength, courage, love, conviction, peace and happiness so that you can make it through these next two weeks and all the weeks to come regardless of what decision is made.<BR/><BR/>I am sad for you both but I also know that if this is what you decide to do then you just need our support. I think I can speak for everyone who reads your blog that we do support you and M.Rumour Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06077318272957637158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161689817433885332006-10-24T07:36:00.000-04:002006-10-24T07:36:00.000-04:00Please keep your communication going. My hubby was...Please keep your communication going. My hubby was not interested in talking about my obsession with starting our family. He said he knew it would happen someday and it didn't do any good to talk about it...he really had no clue how I was feeling. You seem to have a grasp on your wifes struggles-We made it through that horrible time in our lives but talking it out and deciding TOGETHER would have felt so much better. I wish you all the best, no matter how you decide to continue.OHNhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03856294075428012923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161656016655158502006-10-23T22:13:00.000-04:002006-10-23T22:13:00.000-04:00Good luck! I understand why your wife would never...Good luck! I understand why your wife would never want to go through another BFN again.<BR/><BR/>Take caresoralishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08874975328481113933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161650047165015582006-10-23T20:34:00.000-04:002006-10-23T20:34:00.000-04:00Well, I think it's great you're on the same page. ...Well, I think it's great you're on the same page. That's hard to achieve at these important junctures. The decision itself? Well - I guess we'll see how that goes.<BR/><BR/>BeaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161649464432302252006-10-23T20:24:00.000-04:002006-10-23T20:24:00.000-04:00All of this sucks. That any of us has to have thes...All of this sucks. That any of us has to have these conversations is simply not right. I'm angry. Very angry. <BR/><BR/>best of luck to you both.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04367588398516955834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161646167560281902006-10-23T19:29:00.000-04:002006-10-23T19:29:00.000-04:00Longtime lurker, first-time commenter.These conver...Longtime lurker, first-time commenter.<BR/><BR/>These conversations are so tough, but I think it's good you're having them. With our BFNs, I really appreciated that my husband made it clear that he was open to considering all options. By that, I mean that I liked not just the supportiveness of it, but also the reminder that we didn't HAVE to keep doing this - that it was a choice. It is easy to lose that perspective.<BR/><BR/>Good luck with your collective decision....Motel Managerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07713211390770892389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161642728163653712006-10-23T18:32:00.000-04:002006-10-23T18:32:00.000-04:00Yea for thoughtful discussions, regardless of how ...Yea for thoughtful discussions, regardless of how painful they may be. If more folks were having them, I think we'd be a happier people the world over!<BR/><BR/>And from a selfish point of view, thanks for being brutally honest about your situation. It's comforting to know my life isn't so different from others' lives.Irshlashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592841277158422613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161628419565494652006-10-23T14:33:00.000-04:002006-10-23T14:33:00.000-04:00I have to agree with Thalia - at least you're able...I have to agree with Thalia - at least you're able to have those conversations. I think that's half the battle.<BR/><BR/>Whatever the decision, I hope it'll bring you both some peace. It's a tough road, no matter which you choose.Kelliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13571184480869468994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161628340962618412006-10-23T14:32:00.000-04:002006-10-23T14:32:00.000-04:00I hope that whatever happens you two can come to a...I hope that whatever happens you two can come to a decision that you will both be comfortable with.lolahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13370321481930718008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161626241552751862006-10-23T13:57:00.000-04:002006-10-23T13:57:00.000-04:00At least you both make yourself have these convers...At least you both make yourself have these conversations, that's the hard bit.<BR/><BR/>Re your decision, well, I know you will both handle wherever M ends up. Although I'm not convinced that it is impossible to develop coping strategies. The counsellor at our clinic helped us tremendously with this in the space of a month. It didn't make it ok, but it made it manageable. <BR/><BR/>Good luck, and take some speed or something (don't you bankers have access to good drugs?)Thaliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12125639207843989848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161626064245818352006-10-23T13:54:00.000-04:002006-10-23T13:54:00.000-04:00Much luck to you in this huge decsion. There is c...Much luck to you in this huge decsion. There is certainly no easy way to cope with a BFN. I did find that the second was easier than the first and the third was the easiest of all, but I wouldn't say any of them were easy. The first one was a huge blow, and then you start to expect them to be negative, which is sad, but I suppose it's a defense mechanism. <BR/><BR/>It's a big decision, and I'm glad you're giving yourselves some time to make it. Good luck!hope548https://www.blogger.com/profile/11951199252401108222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161624443176804672006-10-23T13:27:00.000-04:002006-10-23T13:27:00.000-04:00Those are some very, very tough conversations to h...Those are some very, very tough conversations to have with each other. The issues are so important and so emotional. I can completely understand why M feels like another BFN would destroy her. It's one of the major reasons that I don't think I could do IVF. <BR/><BR/>FWIW, I have to disagree with the previous commenter--I think this IS a crucial decision that you'll look back on at the end of your life. I hope you can look back on it with peace, whichever way you decideAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161623770316913472006-10-23T13:16:00.000-04:002006-10-23T13:16:00.000-04:00Time will go by and, at the end of your life, you ...Time will go by and, at the end of your life, you won't consider those decisions as crucial. Your attitude as regards life counts more than the outcome of your actions.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161621354421477552006-10-23T12:35:00.000-04:002006-10-23T12:35:00.000-04:00IMO - those are the toughest conversations to have...IMO - those are the toughest conversations to have - the ones where you really dig in and make decisions. J and I haven't done that yet; I think we're putting it off for a while. <BR/><BR/>I will say one thing - this I know from experience. Back in April, when I knew I was going to lose our unviable pregnancy - I had a breakdown. I thought it would kill me. <BR/><BR/>Somehow I managed to get through it. And all the subsequent BFNs. And though sometimes I feel like I am coming seriously unhinged, apparently I won't die from BFNs.<BR/><BR/>That said - you and M need to make the decision that's best for you both. And I <B>really</B> hope that you're able to come to a decision in which you are both comfortable.<BR/><BR/>*HUG*Serenityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17765237663006604157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161619675300825102006-10-23T12:07:00.000-04:002006-10-23T12:07:00.000-04:00I have to say, it's amazing what strength your min...I have to say, it's amazing what strength your mind can muster even when you think you don't have any left.<BR/><BR/>Hope the decision is one you are both able to deal with. That is so hard.<BR/><BR/>Possibly some Eminem would help keep you awake before the meeting? :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161618506804945932006-10-23T11:48:00.000-04:002006-10-23T11:48:00.000-04:00Good luck Mr. and Mrs. Smarshy. I do hope that wh...Good luck Mr. and Mrs. Smarshy. I do hope that whichever decision you make, you are comfortable with and will have no regrets.Kristahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16771351540802344987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161617347578947892006-10-23T11:29:00.000-04:002006-10-23T11:29:00.000-04:00I'm glad you managed to stay awake for the convers...I'm glad you managed to stay awake for the conversation, it sounds like a pretty important one. I know where your wife is coming from, the negative is much much worse then the hormones and the treatments. <BR/>I hope that when you've made a decision, you can both accept it and find the best way to move forward. It may involve getting some outside help, whichever route you choose. Decisions like this are never easy, my heart goes out to you and your wife.xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02110178612938574287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33290604.post-1161614122071866952006-10-23T10:35:00.000-04:002006-10-23T10:35:00.000-04:00It's an important conversation to have had, and on...It's an important conversation to have had, and one we may need to talk about soon... but one day, at least, it's got to be done, I think it's important. It's like a loss, an idea you have to finally "greive" for. For those in our situaiton, life, one day, has to go on and done with good heart, whatevers decided.<BR/><BR/>Good luck...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com