Saturday, August 26, 2006

It is what it is

That's pretty much my personal motto.

I say it all the time, just ask my wife. I probably say it way more than I should.

I think it just illustrates my personal philosophy. One of the few things I do very well, I think, is worry about those things I can change, and accept those things that I can not change. I am one of those people who takes in bad news, assimilates it, recognizes the new Reality, and moves on, fully adjusted. Now, I don't know if that's a personal trait, or a male thing, or what. It's just the way I roll.

My beautiful wife? Not so much.

She's an equal-opportunity obsessor. She gives just as much attention to those things she can not control as she does to those she can. But that's really the bitch about this whole thing, isn't it. CONTROL. There is none. We're all smart. We'll all pretty accomplished. I mean, for the most part, we're in our 30's, when you start to realize that the shit you did in your 20's may have actually taught you something. Now we are used to having control over everything in our lives, ESPECIALLY those things that are really important.

But this, this fertility crap. It's the most important thing EVER. And we have less control over it than we've ever had over anything. I have more control over the path of the moon's orbit than I do over whether or not my wife will ever be pregnant again.

So if I follow my own philosophy, I should not be stressed at all, because I only stress about that which I can control, and since I can't control any of this, I should be footloose and fancy free.

So why am I so fucking stressed?

4 comments:

Mony said...

Infertility. It is what it is.
A fucking nightmare.

Of course you're stressed, dude.

...Maybe a drumkit is on your horizon?

Shazz said...

Because us women do it to you LOL!! Unfortunatly this infertility road is a headache to say the least. Just make sure you have plenty of headache tablets and a outlet to get away from it all.

Baby Blues said...

Nice blog! I'm enjoying it. It's different to hear the husband's perspective on infertility. You and my husband should chat! LOL!

NikkiNix said...

AMEN! On the control issue :(