Friday, December 08, 2006

5dp5dt

My stomach is in freakin knots. M is so calm during the 2ww. I feel like I'm going to barf.

By this Sunday it will be almost certain that the HCG from the trigger shot will be gone. That's our biggest worry - a false positive or an early miscarriage that we may not have known about had we not tested early (happened once before). Sunday will be 13 days since the trigger, and a rule of thumb says it takes 10 days for HCG shots to leave your body.

So M says she'll pee on a stick on Sunday morning. That way, we'll have all day Sunday to deal with it together, and then Monday morning we have an appt at the social worker who can help us deal with a negative.

Sunday morning. Today is Friday. That's just 2 days. This morning I thought we'd be testing in a week, and I was fine with that, because it seemed like a short wait. Now Sunday seems like it's a month away.

This is probably the last post before we know if the cycle worked. I'm usually such an optimistic person, but I have a terrible feeling about this. It's not that I'm worried it's negative, it's that I'm DREADING the negative that I'm already sure of. Dreading the tears. And the screams. And the thrashing around M will do as she frantically searches for some sort of control over a situation she can not control. She will want to make important decisions within minutes of the news. She will scream proclamations. She will be so angry. So, so angry. God, I'm dreading it.

But maybe Saturday will be nice?

Anyway, thanks for all your support this cycle, it has meant a tremendous amount to both of us. I'll see you back here on the other side of the pee test.

Good weekend everyone -

14 comments:

One Mother's Journey said...

Fingers crossed for a wonderful Sunday morning.

Anonymous said...

Let's see if this comment posts 30 times too...

JMA and I will both be thinking of you and M this weekend and I hope that you see two glorious lines.

Anonymous said...

Be strong Bro.
Tough times don't last but tough people do.

(Sending you a man hug and slap on back!)

Mr Blue Sky

NikkiNix said...

I'm felling it for you guys - and praying... praying... praying... :)

Rumour Miller said...

Praying you get two lines...

susan said...

I hope that no matter what the outcome, you guys have some peace. I know that is hard to even imagine but it is a worthwhile wish for you I believe.

The Town Criers said...

Hope all comes down on the side of good this time. I'll be thinking of you Sunday.

OHN said...

Smarshy and Mrs. Smarshy, I fully intend on adding you to my list of positives since I started reading blogs. 9 of 17 have gotten preggers and you will make 10~ you're welcome ;)

spark said...

WAIT! Sunday is still VERY early - don't worry too much if there isn't a line!!! Better to wait until mid-week if you can!!!!

theoneliner said...

good luck. i'm sending you a big man hug, too...i'm versatile like that.

K S said...

Good luck!!! I've been thinking about the Smarshys and hoping you get a BFP.

Thalia said...

Hoping for you, Smarshy.

Anonymous said...

Good luck on Sunday.
Hey, sometimes when I'm thrashing around in tears, making snap decisions - what I'm also wanting is for Mr. S to give me a wide berth ;-)

Thalia said...

Come on smarshy, it's sunday morning your time now. Don't keep us waiting and hoping for you!