Monday, December 11, 2006

8dp5dt. Did I say Thursday?

I meant Saturday.

M is pushing the POAS date further and further out. At this rate, she'll be ready to take the pee test the day after the kid is born. Or the day after her period starts, whichever is sooner.

She says she is SURE it is negative. Big cramping going on. Not like little cramping. Like lying in bed knees up going "ooooooohhhhhhhh" kind of cramping. That can't be good.

I would love to feel hopeful, but since I can't actually feel anything MYSELF, and since I depend on M for all my input, and she's feeling negative, well, not sure where that leaves me. Believe me, I'd love to hijack some of her piss and throw it on a stick and be done with this 2 week nonsense. If I wasn't SURE it would result in a negative, I'd piss on the damn thing MYSELF.

That gives me an idea. The "hot water treatment". Ever heard of it? I used to do it to my brother when he slept. What you do is: when a person is asleep, you dip their hand (or fingers) in warm water. It triggers a relaxation impulse in the person, and they relax their bladder. Immature hilarity ensues as they pee all over themselves in their sleep. 99.9% of the time the person wakes up first and then beats the shit out of you. But the .1% of the time it works is so sweet - it's worth it. I might try it on M tonight with a little cup and a pee stick. And a catchers mask. And mace.

In a normal cycle, M would be getting her period tomorrow. So the clinic isn't really waiting THAT long to test. It just feels long. We are going to do a home preg test AFTER the beta. Yes, you read that right. AFTER. We are going to come into the city, give blood, then go home and she'll piss on the stick. That way, we can control the information. Why not do it before the blood draw that morning, you ask? Good question. Because if it's a negative on the HPT, I will NEVER be able to get her in the car to go get her beta test. She would do the same thing the Buggins does when I try to take her somewhere she doesn't want to go: she would exercise that miraculous ability to turn her bones to jello and slump down on the ground so that it's impossible to be picked up. We call it the "jelly girl" move. Buggins is a pro.

Traveling again tomorrow, Wed, and Thursday. Prob won't be posting. Try to exist without me.

Be careful out there. (Hill Street Blues)

16 comments:

Piccinigirl said...

well I was coming to see what the test said, but as usual I am early (or late) . Go figure.

I never POAS before my Beta and the last time I put it off for almost 5 days while I sat in painful cramps and willed them away. I REALLY hope the news is good for you and M. You both deserve a BFP!

Safe travels.

Anonymous said...

Trust me, I know how M feels. I didn't POAS for my first IVF cycle. Because I was WAY too chicken. I think it's a good idea to wait, but I'm probably in the minority.

But god DAMN I am hoping for you.

And my little brother used to pull the "jelly" when he didn't want to do something. I loved making fun of him for it (I was 7 when he was 2).

Yeah, I was *THAT* big sister.

But it makes me laugh to see kids pull that stuff. :)

Anonymous said...

Trust me, I know how M feels. I didn't POAS for my first IVF cycle. Because I was WAY too chicken. I think it's a good idea to wait, but I'm probably in the minority.

But god DAMN I am hoping for you.

And my little brother used to pull the "jelly" when he didn't want to do something. I loved making fun of him for it (I was 7 when he was 2).

Yeah, I was *THAT* big sister.

But it makes me laugh to see kids pull that stuff. :)

Anonymous said...

Trust me, I know how M feels. I didn't POAS for my first IVF cycle. Because I was WAY too chicken. I think it's a good idea to wait, but I'm probably in the minority.

But god DAMN I am hoping for you.

And my little brother used to pull the "jelly" when he didn't want to do something. I loved making fun of him for it (I was 7 when he was 2).

Yeah, I was *THAT* big sister.

But it makes me laugh to see kids pull that stuff. :)

Krista said...

Good luck Smarshy and M. I still have my fingers crossed for you.

Rumour Miller said...

Cramps are not always a sign of AF's arrival... it can signal other miracles happening too. Fingers crossed for the other...

My Reality said...

I am wishing you both the best with the results for your cycle. If you are able to hijack some pee, you must tell us how you did it. If we don't ever hear from you again, I will assume she hurt you really bad! :)

spark said...

I've heard A LOT of people who get BFPs have AF-like cramps - so don't write yourself off yet. But if it's all about setting low expectations - I understand completely. I always have to assume BFN and even plan out the next cycle before I can think about POAS.

LOL about the hot water treatment - does that *actually* work?

Safe travels. The pixie weather chicks are planning some hard core tickle fights while you're out of town. Shame you're going to miss it.

Hope M is feeling better soon!

Anonymous said...

Safe travels Smarshy! We are all waiting on pins and needles for the results.

JMA and I are exactly the opposite of you and M - I am crazy testing woman and I pee on a stick as soon as I can, while JMA prefers to wait it out for the betas and even THEN he has a hard time believing it.

Anonymous said...

thinking of you both mate.
safe home

Mony said...

....this sucks.
Nervous, nailbiting....hopeful.

Anonymous said...

I forgot about the jelly girl move. I think I'll try that on the way to some of my meetings...

I hope the cramps are just messing with you and there's a big fat positive at the end of the week.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and M today, Smarsh...

Bert said...

Wishing you the best of luck. I haven't been checking these things much lately, but will do so to hear what news. Other's good news can be hard, but still needed for hope.

Hopeful Mother said...

Hoping hard for you guys today!!

Rumour Miller said...

I hope things are good... thinking of you & Mrs. S