I haven't really known what to write about the last few days. Instead, I've been working in my basement - cutting, nailing, painting, washing, and yes - spackling. I thought I would take just a moment of your time and announce to you that I truly love spackle.
There are only a few things, from a guys perspective, that come close to spackle in terms of variety of usage. Duct tape is up there too. But it's what spackle GIVES you that makes it so special. While duct tape will hold things together, spackle goes one step further - it gives you a fresh start.
Have a hole in your wall? Spread on some spackle. Did you drive a nail into your wall in the wrong place? Pull it out, and slap on some spackle. Did the pieces of drywall not connect evenly, and leave a gap? Spackle spackle spackle baby.
It covers your mistakes. Just wait for it to try, grab some sand paper or a wet cloth, and sand or wipe away the excess. What's left? NOTHING. It's like the badness was NEVER THERE. No one will EVER know.
Oh, I have so many uses for spackle in my life. There are a few ex girlfriends I'd like to spackle over. I knocked the buggins in the head with the 'fridge door when she was like 10 weeks old. I'd like to spackle that. My wife recently said that she would love diamond earrings, and I responded that I'd consider it if she were pregnant. I'd slather a whole CAN of spackle on that conversation.
Can't they sell Life Spackle?
I'd buy it at CostCo, in like a 10 gallon tub. Instead of a spackle knife, I'd spread it around with a snow shovel. But I would save a whole bunch for the middle of December.
Why? Because that's when we'll get the results of the current IVF cycle we're on. I would stand by the phone, spackle knife fully loaded and in hand, and when the call comes in, if it's a negative, EVERYTHING is getting spackled. The phone, my wife, her memory, everything. Then I will sand it all, and paint it all nice and happy.