Thursday, September 07, 2006

Boy, That DID Get Me In Trouble

Ok, so I am beginning to recover from the brutal beating I got from wifey for that last post. She read it at home, called me up at work, and screamed "YOU A$$HOLE!!!" into the phone and then hung up. I'm just glad I didn't have her on speakerphone.

But after she read it a few more times, and read your comments, and called me numerous names I never read in the Bible, I think she started to understand that I wasn't simply complaining about my wife on the internet, or trolling the web looking for anonymous agreement that I have a crazy wife. She now understands that I was admitting some serious mistakes I was making to a knowledgeable group of individuals, and that I was seeking guidance and help from people who understand, but are just removed enough from our own particular day-to-day crap to be able to shed some light on it. And your comments have been incredibly helpful. Thank you all for your insights and feedback. I really want to respond to each and every one of your comments but I haven't figured out how to do that yet. Your comments have made a profound difference in the way I think and act towards this process and towards my wife during this time.

So anyway, back to the shit.

The cycle was cancelled. The nurse said the follicles were not developed enough. Now, for those of you following along at home:

Cycle #1 - 150iu for 2 nights, then 225iu for the rest of the cycle...
first scan: 4 follicles, 2nd scan: 11, 3rd scan: 16 follicles, then - boom - conversion to IVF due to "overstimulation of the follicles". Needless to say, that IVF was a failure.

Cycle #2, 75iu for first 2 nights.
Oh, that makes sense. Starting us off slow. Overdid it last time. Seems prudent. Gee, these guys are smart.
First scan - no follicles.
Hmmn...well, I guess it's time to ramp up the dosage and get us some follicles. That's what they'll probably say when the nurse calls this afternoon.
They call: Stay on 75 for 2 more nights.
Huh? no increase? Seems odd. Well, I guess they know what they're doing.
Second scan: 3 follicles, all too small to measure. Technician is worried. Mentions that she wouldn't be surprised if they cancelled.
No worries, I tell wifey. I'm sure they'll crank up the dosage now and grow those little follicles into giants right at the last second. Just you wait. After all, you're only at 75. Last cycle, you were at 225.
Nurse calls. Stay at 75iu for 2 more nights.
WTF? That can't be good doctorin'. Are these guys asleep at the switch?
Next scan: Follicles too small. CANCELLED. Oh, but don't worry, the insurance company will still count this as one of the 6 ART treatments they will cover. Too bad you didn't get the opportunity to actually get IMPREGNATED.
And wifey descends into another black hole of despair, anger, confusion, panic, fear, depression, and frustration.
Thanks, Doc. Good lookin' out.

So, based on our gut instincts, your feedback, and, I think, common sense, we have decided we are getting really bad medical care. We have contacted our original RE doctor, who practices in the city. The only reason we didn't continue with him was because of the 2 hour round trip commute to his office from our home. But we have sacrificed care for convenience and found that quality care is more important.

I have to tell you, I am concerned about this commute. Its the same commute I have every day to work. My wife puts a HUGE premium on convenience. She may say she wants to go to the CityDoc now, but I envision MAJOR problems when she has to lug her ass (and our 2 year old) to the clinic 2 or 3 times a week). I'm just saying. CityDoc would have to be 200% better than Dr. ButtMunch just to balance out the affect of the convenience factor. So, CityDoc has to be 250% better than Dr. ButtMunch for this to be worthwhile. Maybe that will happen. Maybe not.

So we have a couple weeks off, no drugs, no appts. Just lots of booze and hopefully some SEX!


One Mother's Journey said...

FWIW: to reply to a comment, you should just be able to click on reply in your email program providing that you have Blogger set up to email comments to you. That works for everyone who has an email address set up in their blogger account - if they don't it'll say non-reply@blogger or something similar.

I'm sorry your cycle got cancelled - it just totally sucks to go through all the day to day crap to not even have a chance this month. What a waste of time and efforts.

I can understand your concern about the commute to the city doc, however - if it's with a doctor you still have faith in and it puts your wifes mind at ease and possibly get you your baby... it would be worth it. Course that's easy for me to say since I'm not the one driving it and lugging a 2 year old to wandings...

I'm curious - did your clinic offer any feedback for what they might do differently on your next cycle? (like increase meds or different meds) It certainly sounds like a change in protocol is in order.

Krista said...

Now I want to premise this comment by saying that I am really loving this blog. As a gazillion people have already said it is so nice to hear a males perspective... Blah Blah Blah

Really what i want to know is how much shit will you get in for pissing your wife off in public and then the very next day, publicly suggesting that you are looking forward to sex.

Glad the comments helped both you and your wife understand each other better.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely love your blog, am totally addicted.
Your wife is very lucky to have a guy like you just as I am to have a partner like mine.
I had 4 IVF cycles with a "convenient" clinic where it was easy to get to and parking was available, blah blah, all negative.
Moved to a clinic in the City that was double the cost, a 2hour round trip also and was hectic and cold and a pain in the arse and everytime I had to go there I whinged and bitched. Guess what - worth everything - got my 1st positive.
I hope and pray the same for you.

SmarshyBoy said...

Krista, I didn't specify that we'd be have sex with EACHOTHER....

Just kidding. I told her I was going to write that before I did and she thought it was funny.

Thalia said...

Like I said before, I don't think your clinic has been really paying attention. A second opinion sounds like an excellent idea, even if you then go back to your convenient clinic with a modified approach.

I do think that a convenient clinic is a big stress-reducer. Ours is 10 minutes away and we constantly thank our lucky stars that we are happy with them.

Southern Comfortable said...

I'm with you on the convenience, but it sounds like a change is definitely in order. Someone at Dr. ButtMunch is falling down on the job.

fisher queen said...

Better service ends up being more important than drive time. I switched to a clinic 1 hr away and it was so so worth it.

theoneliner said...

Woah...these last two posts-not so funny.

My husband and I do not (yet?) know the torture of IVF...but we do know infertility.

He's learned to go along with my "you know this wouldn't be an issue if the f'ing dr didn't... (insert something that is in no way in the dr's control). He says something like "oh, i know it!' "total b.s.!" "i mean, how hard would it have been?" etc.

He know's he's full of it, I know he's full of it and neither of us expects him to do anything.

But it feels so good to hear it...even if it is b.s.

Sometimes lying to your wife is a good thing. Do it more.

onelinerspookie said...

re:the my wife needs to blame someone post. Your wife does need to blame someone. Infertility needs to be someone's fault. I fought that for a llooonnngggg time until I figured out that my wife needed infertility to be someone's fault.

Telling her that it is noone's fault is reality...and she doesn't need anymore reality.

And if not the doctor's than whose? Yeah, yours my friend.

Cuss out the dr. now.

btw, my wifie choose my stupid blogger name. yes, she's THAT hot.