Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Daddy Try

Thank you all for your comments on my last post. I like it here.

OK, so I thought I would tell a little story that will hopefully help all of us remember why we are going through all this bullshit in the first place. A cute Buggins story will follow, so if you can't deal with that, may I suggest you take this time to peruse some internet porn, which, according to CNN, America is addicted to. I know I was when I was in business school. Now, if we can just combine porn and your weather pixies...now THAT'S an addiction worth having.

How do I segue from porn into a story about my daughter? I can't. But I must.

I think little kids can be so perceptive and amazingly caring and sweet in the most subtle ways. As a bit of background, Buggins has a little pink stuffed elephant. His name is "NuhNight". She loves him more than life itself. Sleeps with him, carries him around, shares her juice and food with him. Loves him.

One of her favorite things to do, particularly around bedtime, is to take NuhNight's incredibly soft, velvety ear, and rub it up against her cheek (think Linus and his blanket). She just rubs her cheek with it, and all is right with the world. GOD HELP YOU if she catches YOU trying to rub YOUR cheek with it, though. Seriously. NuhNight's ears have a special magical quality that she alone is allowed to enjoy.

So yesterday, as some of you may recall, was a bad day for me. I was frustrated, I was pissed, I was tired. I do an excellent job of hiding that from the Buggins, though. We went through the evening routine, "brushyteeth", PJ's, I read her a story on "Bigbed" (AKA the brick) and then I plopped her into her crib. She sat there looking at me for a minute, and started rubbing her cheek with NuhNight's ear. I noticed she was really looking at me. Toddlers aren't known for making continuous eye contact. A moment of silence occurred as each of us looked at the other directly in the eyes. Then she took NuhNight, held his ear out to me, and said "Daddy try?"

I stood there in shock. I took NuhNight, and slowly rubbed his ear up against my cheek. Oh, it was sweet. That ear is magic. As soon as I started rubbing her eyes lit up and she smiled. Then I handed it back to her and said "Thank you." She said "uh huh" and just lay down and went to sleep.

M could not believe the story when I told her. She takes care of the Buggins all day long and SHE never gets to rub NuhNight's ear. I hope she gets a chance someday. I hope you all get a chance someday.

34 comments:

serenity said...

Dammit, smarshy - you're not allowed to make me cry at work.

That was probably the sweetest story I've heard ever.

Rumour Miller said...

That's awesome.

Anonymous said...

Tears from me too. Damn you.

Bea

Lyrehca said...

Very nice.

My Reality said...

As the tears roll, I thank you for this story. This is what we are working so hard for and sometimes, with all the shitty news from doctors, I forget that. Sometimes, I need the reminder.

Leggy said...

Oh she's so adorable. It is amazing how they pick up on your moods, isn't it? When I had a miscarriage while my husband was in Europe, my son interpreted my sadness that Daddy was never coming back, that he found a new wife. To him, that was the worst thing in the world that could happen, so that must be why mommy is sad. I set him straight, but boy did that break my heart.

Anonymous said...

That was nice to read, see how it is. Some days are good, some are bad. I'm not making excuses for your wife nor do I entirely side with her behaviour but I'm sure she'll get there some day, it's a bit like trying to quit smoking, you have to want to, see where I'm going with this?.... You don't have to get it. Just be patient if you want to get through this rough patch (yes, even more then you're being now). Might seem like crappy advice to you but being a women, I know what I'm talking about, been there, like that, and all the rest...

Best wishes,

lola said...

well now i have tears in my eyes! hearing stories about Buggins makes this IF crap seem much more worth it.

Hopeful Mother said...

That story is EXACTLY why we will all put up with the #$*# that IF hurls at us. SO worth it.

ms. c said...

Beautiful, Smarshy.
That's why it's all worth it, eh?
(This is the second day in a row you have made me cry. You must put an end to this.)

theoneliner said...

awwwwww, too sweet. i loved it.

Yellowgirlnc@yahoo.com said...

Lurker here, but just had to comment. At least once upon a time (not sure if it still exists or not, and am not about to find out on my work computer!) there was a naked news site in which you could watch a sans-clothes man or woman (your choice) deliver the top headlines. The men actually "stripped" during the 1/2 show, but the women were naked from the get-go I believe. NOt sure they did the weather, but close...... see, there *IS* a market for these things! (Okay, now you think I'm a total perv... I'm not, it was just a drunken giggle at a girls' party.... honest!). Yellowgirl

SmarshyBoy said...

Hmmnn...Never heard of it.

But it was called Na.kedNew.s.com, and my favorite was Candace, the tall brunette.

But I never heard of it.

Anonymous said...

Awwwwwwwww! That is too cute.

One Mother's Journey said...

Adorable. That's exactly why it's so hard to give up on this stupid dream. Little kids do indeed rock.

Hope548 said...

What a sweet story!

Kristi said...

So sweet!!!

OHN said...

I hope she gets an extra cookie for that one!

Anonymous said...

Aren't those moments just the kind that make you want to bottle your kidlet up to stay with you forever just like they are in that very moment? The innocence of it all just awes me sometimes. My little guy is about the same age as your Buggins and we have moments like that too... unexplainable, heart melting, worth everything, would trade for nothing moments... our NuNight is called Buckin and he's a little blue bear that gets his ears rubbed too... hmmm... what's with the fuzzy ears and magic?

Keeping The Faith said...

Thank you for sharing. I could imagine the whole scenario as I read it and it brought a smile to my face.

Katie said...

I'm returning my mascara to the Lancome counter at Dillards. Damn stuff is not waterproof.

Treggles said...

Your such a great storyteller, Smarshy; I do love the way you write.

And what a great story that one was.

Treggles said...

Please remove the "Your" from my comment and repace with "You're".

Erin said...

It's moments like that which give us such a desire for another one. I know you said you don't get it, but that moment is the reason that we'll go through hell to have another child. And those moments are also the reason we get depressed that it hasn't happened yet, and that we have to succumb to still more hell.

Buggins sounds like quite the sweetie.

--Erin, www.pcosbaby.typepad.com

Krista said...

ahhhhh.... I want to rub NuhNight's ear. But only after my daughter looks into my eyes and asks "wanna try?"

Thanks Smarshy

Ali said...

I am bawling...thanks a lot.
But of course the tears are because of that sweet story and your beautiful daughter's words.
That was just the reminder I needed today of why all the medication and heartache is worth it.

jon said...

male reader here, delurking. i hope to get this experience soon. i liked your last post, too. sounds to me like you get it (at least sounds SOOO familiar to me, and i think i get it, sometimes). the truth is we (men and women) are totally different creatures. Kindof like how in the IF and adoption blogs, most of the bloggers are women. Where are the men? silently burying their heads and minds into something else, like after the RE appts... it's just the way some of us deal... anyway, glad to see your blog

rachel said...

Even I feel teary and I'm not big on crying. What a cute Buggins!

In response to your previous entry...... no, I don't think you do get it. I think men and women feel IF very differently. Even the most sensitive man (and you're right up there!) doesn't get as absolutely eaten up by it as women do. There's probably a long sociological essay I could write about why, but I'll spare you.

Fromwhat I've read on your blog, you're doing your best, you're willing to talk, you're willing to acknowledge your own feelings and you're willing to be a punch-bag when required. That may not be "getting it" exactly but it's still a whole lot better than a lot of guys manage.

jon said...

well, yes, thats true. you really DON'T get it, unless you yourself have gone through it. the sonagrams, the injections, the mock and real transfers, the pee sticks, the BFNs, etc. but on the partner side, you get it. you get that she may decide to go on, or not, and flip-flop every other 5 minutes. and you get that you just have to be there in that moment. it's not easy, but it's not easy being her either.

Amy said...

I'm sure if I weren't so hopped up on Happy Pills, I'd have cried at this way-too-sweet story. Seems like everyone else did. :-)

soralis said...

What a wonderful story!! Now that's the stuff that makes you go on and fight IF! :)

I really hope your wife doesn't have too many issues with the drugs this time. My heart goes out to her.

Take care

Piccinigirl said...

well I am sitting here at work in a puddle of big fat tears. THAT is why I keep trying. Thanks for the inspiration today. :)

lunarmagic said...

That is SO sweet and heartwarming.

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