Thursday, October 26, 2006

Things I Think

I've decided that my blog is the perfect receptacle for all my absurd thoughts, half-baked ideas, and ridiculous theories. They are not necessarily good ideas, or intelligent or even well thought out. But they're mine. These are things I think.

1) I think I've grown spoiled by the level of comments on my blog over the last few months. Because I only got about 10 on my last post, and now I'm afraid you all have grown weary of me. Don't feel bad, you all hung around much longer than most of my ex-girlfriends. I think my wife might be growing weary of me too.

2) I think you should have to surrender your drivers license at a certain age, like 75. Now, I know there are plenty of 77 and 80 year olds who are perfectly capable of driving. There are also plenty of 13 and 14 year olds who are capable, but they can't drive. Sorry Grandma. Hand it over.

3) I think it should be a law that the President of the United States should have to populate half of his cabinet-level positions with people from other political parties. Abraham Lincoln had his "Team of Rivals", literally his cabinet was made up of his former political opponents. After he won office, he basically said something along the lines of "I don't feel I have the right to deprive the American public of these people's intellect and leadership" And it was like the most effective cabinet ever. There are NO checks and balances in a room filled with yes men. Abe Lincoln had it right. Too bad about the Ford Theater thing.

4) I think ailments like infertility, as well as cancer and any other type of ailment, cause the sufferer to wake up to the idea that people are, for the most part, totally selfish, self-absorbed, and insensitive. What a horrible discovery that is. I'd much rather not know.

5) I think all humans are constantly one tiny step away from losing all semblance of civility, and running naked in the streets throwing poop at eachother. We're all just animals. Look at how Boston reacted when the Red Sox won the world series. It was mayhem. We can all wear suits and get fancy degrees but we're all just one winning baseball game away from being a bunch of crazy monkeys.

6) I think our society should be like Asia, where they revere the elderly. People don't value experience nearly enough. Old people here are treated like they're crazy. (some ARE crazy). But they were once young, and they have been there. In ancient China or Japan, these people would have been held up like gods. We should pay MUCH more respect to our elderly. (We just should not let them DRIVE)

7) I think prisoners should get a bill after they get out of jail. For room and board.

8) I think the Secretary of Defense should have a military background. Call me crazy.

9) I think it's odd that those Segway scooters never really caught on. I suspect it's because there is no cargo space. Where do you store all your crap? Also, no one wants to be that first guy who buys one, and then everyone stares at as he goes by.

10) I think diamonds are precious just because we have decided that they're precious. It's up to us. Let's decide DIRT is precious. There, look, now everyone is rich.

11) I think electricity will be wireless someday soon. And we'll regale our offspring with stories of how we used to have to "plug things in" and how we had giant wooden poles along the streets holding "wires" that actually had to carry electricity from place to place.

Those are some things I think. What are some things you think? I'd be interested.


soralis said...

4 is so sad but true! :(

Aren't diamonds made from dirt?

So glad that you emailed your doctor.

Take care

Carol said...

I'm with ya' Smarshy. Especially item # 5. I've always said that there is a very, very thin line that separates the sane from the insane - I think we are all, at any given moment, just on the brink of slipping over that line into insanity. Maybe some of us even move back and forth across that line on a daily basis. :-)

serenity said...

I love your random thought posts.

Some things I think:

1. I think that fertility is inversely proportionate to IQ score. It makes evolutionary sense - stupid people NEED to have tons of babies, so when they do something stupid like drown their babies by leaving them the bathtub alone while they go smoke crack, they can still like they are contributing to the gene pool.

2. Related to that, I'm pretty sure that eventually all the smart people are going to become extinct, in literally like the next 50 years or so.

Ok, that's only two. I'll bet you that I can think of more, though. :)

One Mother's Journey said...

Nice list...

I think we should go back to the 80s - things were a lot simpler and I looked good in parachute pants.


There should be an unwritten law somewhere that if you don't fart in front each other BEFORE marriage - you shouldn't be allowed to do it after. I was totally unaware of what I'd be dealing with...

Amy said...

I think as long as we're "deciding" thing, we should decide that 5'2", 140 lbs. is beautiful (F*CK America's Next Top Model types).

I think (along the lines of Serenity's thinking) that the average IQ of the general population is decreasing. Smart people are either producing zero or one child; stupid people are producing 12 children (each!).

I think Friday should be a weekend.

I think cops, firefighters, and teachers should make more money (no, I am not in any of those professions).

Plus, I agree with about everything else you wrote :-).

fisher queen said...

Here are three things I think:

I think public schools should not be funded by tax payers from the immediate neighborhood, but by a pool gathered from the whole state that would be redistributed evenly. It might stop sprawl, segregation, and might help struggling schools.

I think struggling schools do badly for other reasons than lack of money, though it plays a part.

I think 'Dancing with the St@rs' should be banned.

Anonymous said...

I think there should be serious tort reform- not restricting the amount of money that is won, though that is part of it- but the threshold for what is considered frivolous should be much higher. You shouldn't win millions of dollars because you are too stupid to know coffee is hot.

Likewise, I think somewhere along the line, as a society we have lost a sense of personal responsibility. Somethings are our own fault.

I also think political correctness has gotten out of hand. Canned bland speech doesn't help me at all. I want to know if someone is a racist asshole. How else am I supposed to pass judgement?

I also think that if someone is only intending to drive one mile an hour faster than the person they are trying to pass, therefore holding me up for the 15 minutes it pass them in the passing lane, they need to rescind their licenses with the elderly.

I completely agree with the things you said- especially 4-6.

susan said...

I think automobile drivers should be self governed by a paintball system. If you encounter a really horrible driver, you can blast them with your paint ball machine gun attached to the hood of your car. If you get blasted more than 4 times, you permanently lose your license.

That would take care of the old timers I'm sure.

Yes, I suffer from road rage.

Krista said...


I think that the work week should be 4 days.

I think that no matter what stories we tell our kids (about electricity or anything) they will roll their eyes and think we are boring.

I think the fact that there are such extremes in living conditios between different countries and continents are just wrong.

I think in this day and age no children should go hugry or homeless.

I think I believe in the right for people to make independant choices about their life.... I just wish they would make smarter choices most of the time.

I think our criminal justice system should be reformed so that it actually works but I have no idea how to do that.

I really liked this post Smarshy, and I agree with all of your "thoughts" especially the thought that we waste the knowledge and intelligence of our eldery.

Beagle said...

#10 cracks me up . . . what a great idea! Let's all be rich, I like that.

I turn dirt into "art", so maybe I'm already rich.

SusanG said...

I think that wireless electricity would be mighty painful...

Lara said...

After reading your post I think "Smarshy for President!" :)