Sunday, October 08, 2006

Sunday Evening Reflections

Sitting here on the couch, dirty martini on the coaster (M makes me use them), listening to some crazy-ass kid music CD on the stereo. Buggins seems to dig it.

I hope every one had a good weekend. Shout out to RC, an anonymous reader who de-lurked to let me know that there is a guy out there reading my blog. Thanks RC, happy to have you along.

I got a haircut this weekend at Mr.'s Hai.r Company. Yes, that's the name. It's a barber shop in a strip mall. I'm a pretty classy, important guy. I get Mr. Jimmy himself to do it. Not some half-wit employee.

Anyway, I bring this up because I remember something very annoying that people used to say to us when we were trying to make the Buggins. They'd find out we were trying to get pregnant, and they'd say something extremely douche-baggy like "Ugh, you don't know how lucky you are, to still be childless. You don't know it, but you're in the time of your life right now. Enjoy it". I'm sure many of you have heard that statement too. Ignorance run amock.

Anyway, once you actually have a baby, these types of bullshit comments don't exactly end. They just change. Take Mr. Jimmy, for example.

Mr. Jimmy: "So, you guys going out tonight?"
Me: "No, we have a little buggins. Can't remember the last time we went out."
Mr. Jimmy: "This is the time of your life, when they're that small. You don't know it, but it is"
Me: "Oh, I know it."
Mr. Jimmy: "No, you don't know it. But it really is. The time of your life. You just don't know. But you will someday."
Me: "No, seriously, I know it. It's the time of my life."
Mr. Jimmy: "Oh no, you just don't know. But trust me. Time of your life."
Me: "Listen, you A-hole, I'll tell you what is definitely NOT the time of my life, this STUPID-ASS conversation."

Alright, I may have only thought that last line.

On another subject, I have to give a giant shout out to my extremely awesome wife, Mrs. Smarshy. She is going through a PARTICULARLY awesome phase. And I say awesome with the biggest Boston accent I can muster, given that I'm from Connecticut.

Since we have been forced by insurance to take a couple cycles off, there is not a drop of evil IF-related meds in her system. Her body and her mind are her OWN. And, because we know we are kicking off a new IVF cycle at the end of October, we have a gameplan and a sufficient supply of hope. So there is nothing we're supposed to be doing, charting, watching, poking, or counting. And we don't feel like we're slacking, because we have a good plan, and it's not too far in the future. So it's just time to be us, to enjoy the Buggins, and to be awesome.

I have to tell you, my wife is the happiest I have seen her in at least a year. She is in a good mood, she's silly, energetic, and so much fun. Honestly, I totally forgot how much fun she can be. It's literally like the woman I married just popped in for a visit.

I am so happy to have her back. I recognize I will lose her again, in just a few short weeks. But this brief period has reminded us how close we are, how compatible we are, and how much fun we have together. For those of you who are wondering if you might benefit from some time off, particularly those of you with the time to do it (in your 20's or early 30's), I want you to know that in our case, this time off has recharged us for many cycles in the future. Hopefully we only need 1 more cycle, though.

Other reasons why my wife is so awesome right now:
1) She started drinking again. HALLELUJAH. I just bought her a whole case of's Har.d Lemonade. I have to be honest, I get a little thrill each time I see her reaching for drink #2. It's not because I'm excited that she's catching a buzz, it's because it means she's relaxing. She's typically not a very relaxed person. Plus, after a couple drinks it's much easier to get in her pants. (Wait, was that out loud?)
2) TV season is back in full swing. All her trashy, ridiculous shows, in all their cheesiness, are lighting up our living room on a nightly basis. America's Next Top Model, The Bachelor, Project Runway, Deal or No Deal. Plus, any MTV show about hot 18 year olds. Every wonder who on Earth watches that crap? Yeah. It's Mrs. Smarshy. And it makes her HAPPY.

Lastly, we bought a mattress. We ended up choosing a Tempur-Pedic, one of those memory-foam NASA mattresses. For the price we paid, we could have gone on a fairly nice vacation. But my hope is that the increased comfort will keep my wife in her current state just a little bit longer.

That's all I got -


Hoping For A Baby said...

I've been reading your blog for a while now. Thank you for the male perspective. I always feel like it's ME who's going through all of this infertility business. But every time I read more of your journey, I'm reminded that my husband goes through just as much as I do (if not more because God knows I can be a b*tch on wheels even without hormonal assistance). Thank you for reminding me that it's my husband and I, together, who are on this journey. Enjoy those dirty martinis :)

VanillaDreams said...

Thanks for making me laugh out loud! I just read some parts of your blog to my husband, and he enjoyed them, too. I really do wish more men would blog....when I read him your conversation with "Mr. Jimmy" he nodded his head in understanding, and told me how he gets so annoyed and hates it when strangers/acquaintances ask him, "Do you have any kids yet???" It's not something I think he's ever voiced to me before, so thanks for bringing the male perspective and showing "the girls" that our husbands suffer through this just as much as we do.

Hope you enjoy your new mattress, and that the good times continue for a lot longer around your household. ;)


Anonymous said...

That's sweet. And I don't say that to discourage you from writing more of the same. Don't go gettin' all coy, now. It's just nice to know you blame the hormones, and not the woman.


SmarshyBoy said...

Bea - I don't just blame the hormones, actually. They are a big part, definately. I think they take away coping mechanisms. But you have to layer on top of that all the things there are to cope with (Appts, doctors, nurses, hope, ME). I blame the whole process, and she's feeling good right now because she does not have to deal with ANY of those things (except me).

Katie said...

Yeah for evening alcoholic beverages. I'm in a beer phase which is fun---hubby and I can stroll the "grounds" (uh, our 1/8 acre) with our Li.tes.

Now that's the life.

I wonder if I became a stranger to my Prince during our "time"? This will be tonight's cocktail-hour question. Thanks!

spark said...

Glad to hear that M is doing better! A little relief from the stress/hormones is nice every now & then. Hopefully this is the last break that you need!

My DH tried to get me liquored up on Saturday night in the hopes of getting was working up until the part where HE fell asleep!! ;)

So would you describe the bed as providing good support? Are there different firmness options? Fluffy beds give me a crooked neck/back...

aah0424 said...

A little's H.ard always does the trick for me. Mine is the Cranberry Lemonade! I had to stop on the way home Friday because I HAD TO HAVE ONE it was that shitty of a day! The husband even offered to DRIVE ME to and from a girls night out. I think there was an ulterior motive here!

theoneliner said...

She doesn't watch la.quana beach!! I thought I was the only nontwenty something that watched that crap. I like mrs. s even more.

You men are all the same. K will make me any any time and usually another before i even ask.

IF can be hard on a marriage...I'm glad that your union is getting a break.

KIMMER said...

Just found your blog, love hearing about infertility from a male's perspective. Reminded me that it's our condition, I tend to think a lot of times that it's just me that it affects. Very nice!

Sarah said...

glad you're enjoying your cycles off. :)

And hopefully the new mattress will be like sleeping on a little slice of heaven.

Baby Blues said...

I love kicking back and just being normal in between cycles. These are the times we simply reconnect, relax and have fun. Cheers to happy wives! I wish all days could be like this. It's dreadful to even think of the next cycle. We'll just have to make the most of it. Chill!

Becky said...

I love Hard Mike's stuff--your wife has good taste ;)

Good luck on the cycle--I'm right now in that "sweet spot" and trying to make the most of it before I go batshit again like I know I'm gonna when we start the heavy meds....
I'll crack a HM's cranberry lemonade for you guys...

Oh, and I highly recommend "The Flavor of Love"--your wife should watch it, if she isn't watching it already!

soralis said...

I am just catching up... and still laughing about the 'tooth' incident! I would have made my hubby dig it out too for that much cash! LOL!

So glad to hear that your wife is feeling better off the meds!

Take care and good luck when your next cycle starts!

One Mother's Journey said...

Cute post. See, a "break" doesn't have to be the end of the world - It's amazing how refreshing it can be. It certainly helps things along to remember why your doing all this...