Friday, October 06, 2006

Is That Mock Blood?

First off, please send good wishes and support to Serenity. A negative test sucks, no matter how you slice it.

Old Business:
Thank you foreign friends, for your interesting answers to my last question. A couple of points I want to respond to: I really believe we DIDN'T elect Bush the first time. We elected Gore. The second time, he was elected more because Kerry is kind of a weenie, and because Bush scared the crap out of us by telling us that Osama was coming for each of us if we voted for Kerry.

One of the problems with this country is the the playing field is not exactly level. Republicans just have much more money than Democrats, and money = power = votes. When Republican are in office, they have double power - the power of the office AND the power of corporate money. Almost unstoppable. It takes the Perfect Candidate to beat that, and the Democrats have yet to serve him/her up.

I am not a Democrat, but I vote democratic on many issues. I vote Republican on probably more issues. But the fact remains that I dislike Bush with red-hot intensity. He embodies all that I hate in this world: ignorance, arrogance, stubborness, greed. If I had my way, he would face prosecution for war crimes after he leaves office.

The FBI and CIA will now be opening a file on me after posting this. Good thing they don't talk to eachother.

Another thing: A few of you mentioned Gun Control. I vote Democratic on this. I don't understand guns. I think it should be illegal to buy or own a device whose sole purpose is to kill humans. And if a hunter wants to buy a gun, I think they should have to go through a rigorous, month long pychological examination at their own expense before taking possession of the gun.

Still, many others think that guns would still fall in the wrong hands if they were illegal. This argument does not hold water with me, and I don't understand why it holds water with anyone.

Ok, on to New Business: **Warning, Buggins is mentioned below...

M had her mock transfer yesterday. Since we have no childcare for the Buggins, M had to drive into the city with her and I left work to take care of Buggins while M was getting "mocked up".

So I get to the hospital at the appointed time, in order to meet up with M and take control of Buggins. As I leave the elevator, turn the corner, and begin walking down the very long hallway, I see the Buggins at the far end of the hallway, playing on the chairs. She is outside of the clinic door that leads to the waiting room, which is open. I begin to wonder as I walk towards her, "Hmmn, that's odd. There's the Buggins. Why is she alone? Where is M? Surely she has not gone into the clinic and left our child out here in the hallway in this giant scary city hospital all by herself."

I start to pick up my pace down the hallway, and Buggins sees me and starts screaming "Hi Daddy! Hi Daddy!" As I almost reach the end of the hallway, and I'm about to scoop up my baby, M comes walking out the door and stands between the Buggins and me. Her face is drenched with tears, her eyes are puffy, and she's holding a bandage around her hand.

My first thought: "Oh, for FUCKS SAKE. What on EARTH has happened now."

M explained that Buggins kept asking for "numanums", which are tiny little tangerine flavored mints that M buys from Star.bucks. Yes, Buggins calls them "numanums". Anyway, these things are tiny, like 1/8 th the size of an altoid. WAY to small to be picked up by Buggins' chubby little sausage fingers. So M got one out and attempted to place it, every so sweetly, on Buggins tongue. Rookie mistake.

Buggins BIT M's finger. But it hard. Bit it long.

Bit it with all her might, as M screamed in agony and had the clinicians running to her aid. They gave her bandages and a tissue to stop the bleeding. Yes, bleeding. If someone asked M if she bled at her mock transfer, she's have to say yes. From the bite of her 2 year old devil child. Even Steve Irwin, God rest his soul, knew better than to stick his finger in a 2 year old's mouth, for Pete's sake.

So I had a serious talk with Buggins and made her apologize, got M situated and calmed down, and then they came out and told M they were ready for her. (We are in the hallway of the hospital, not in the waiting room of the clinic, for obvious reasons). So in she goes, and literally like 15 minutes later, out she comes, saying "all done..."

That was IT? A mock transfer takes 15 minutes? Jeez Louise. And just so you know, you future mock transfer havers, she said it didn't hurt at all. And let me tell you, she's a baby about pain. If it had hurt AT ALL, I would have heard ALL about it.

So that's the story of the Mock T. We'll probably get billed for the bandaid.

** By the way, Buggins isn't really a devil child. I think she didn't let go of the finger right away because when M screamed it scared her, and when some people get scared they clamp down like a vice.

Or, she may be a devil child.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Funny post but I dont think you wife will like it. Your gonna get in trouble...Maggs

PS - glad the mocktransfer went well.

lola said...

OUCH. The Buggins must have some sharp little teeth on her! Poor M, but I'm glad the mock trans went well.

PS - I think that for some women (myself included) the mock transfer is a breeze. But as I lay there the other week having my second one,the Re said something to the effect of how easy my transfers must be and I asked her if they usually are not easy.

She said "sometimes they aren't" which leads me to believe that the ones that are not easy for the Re must be painful for the person going through it :(

So tell M she is lucky! I have to count my lucky stars as well.

Katie said...

Dangit. Can't mocks even be easy!?!?!?! Sorry.

Krista said...

The FBI and CIA will now be opening a file on me after posting this. Good thing they don't talk to each other.

Smarshy that is the hardest I have laughed since I started this cycle. Thanks for that I needed it.

And not all mock transfers are easy. Some women have a "normal" shaped cervix and I understand their mock and regular transfers go swimmingly. Others, like me for example, have shapes that are just not supposed to be in our reproductive system. The addition of interesting shapes makes putting a cathetar through much more difficult. I have been given pain medication for transfers and I have also been sent home from a transfer without actually transferring anything because they simply could not get in there. I am guessing that people like me are the reason they do mock transfers in the first place.

About the Buggins. I understand why the Buggins bit M. Ater all, M's finger was accompanied by numanums and she was anxious to get at it. But I wonder why the Buggins didn't release M's finger once she realized what had happened. Ah... the minds of toddlers. I guess we will never know.

rachel said...

Don't worry, I realise that around 50% of Americans (just over or just under depending on your take on hanging chads) didn't want Bush in the first place. And I realise that some of you must realise the lunacy of letting just anyone wander into a shop and buy a gun.... And God knows, my own country doesn't stand up to any kind of scrutiny either. So no offence intended (but you did ask!!)

As for Buggins and the bleeding finger, I have a child who I was breastfeeding at 14 months when he had 6 teeth. He drew blood 3 times before I realised it was a form of martyrdom I could do without.....

Piccinigirl said...

first I am glad that mock transfer went well. I am always glad to hear that anything IF related goes well.

OUCH!!! Poor Buggins , she probobly had no idea how strong those little teeth of her's are. (don't pay for the bandaid)

theoneliner said...

re: republicans and democrats …I think it’s more than $. I think it’s PR, the electoral college, and that the primaries start out in places like Iowa. The republicans won the PR campaign. They are hands-down better at PR than the democrats. Bush as a cowboy=brilliant. Dude is a y.alie from Connecticut born with a tiffany pewter spoon dangling from his lips. The rep.ublicans convinced everyman that THEY are everything good and holy and Democr.ats are everything that is not good and holy. (which makes this whole f.oley drama that much more interesting). Democrats get big money too (although to less of an extent). I agree with you on ker.ry…he was such a pretty boy and very people in states like mine (and lots of Midwestern states) dig ON pretty boys. Although sans the electoral college the non-pretty boy liking states wouldn’t matter. (note how Hilla.ry hates ON the electoral college…as well she should if she wants to get elected).

Man, I didn’t know a two year old would bite the hand that fed her. Literally. Ouch. I’m not buying the devil child deal…she is way too cute for that.

The Town Criers said...

I have found it! I am going to give the LBWWMTDASADFFIHAOTAC a biting Buggins for Halloween...

He won't even know what hit him.

Glad the mock transfer went smoothly.

SmarshyBoy said...

Hey Maggs - Neither M nor I can figure out why you thought I'd get in trouble for this post...What about it did you think she'd react badly too?

candy said...

I wish I could comment politically, but I am screwed up about it enough in my own head. I'm registered Democrat, think I'm a Republican, but I don't vote. That said...

I think "mocked up" is the best made-up phrase I've ever seen on a blog. Glad everything (except the finger) went well at the clinic.

**And I realize this is a post late, but I just failed the word verification trying to post this. Now I have to type dnupc. I think I can manage that one.

Kris said...

So, now, will Buggins be going as a vampire this Halloween? Hope M's finger is doing better.

Sarah said...

Glad the mock transfer wasn't painful (although I'm still not sure what it is...I'm going back to see if you answered that earlier).

(and I just failed your word verification twice.)