Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Tuesdays Are Pretty Much Worthless

Seriously. What is the point of them. On Monday, you know it's the first day of the week, so you're revved up and ready to go. It's painful, but you're just off a weekend and things are pretty good. Wednesday is "hump day", when you go "wow, middle of the week already, sweet...". Thursday is good because you're almost there, just one more day to go. Plus, you can go out on a Thursday night without guilt because, well, it's Thursday. And Friday, forget it. Everyone pretty much phones it in on Friday. Which leaves Tuesday. The shit day.

Happy Shit Day, everyone.

So M and I have been going back and forth on this "2 week decision" thing. She had a bit of a breakthrough last night when she realized that what she was lacking, and what she desperately needed, was a word of encouragement or a pep talk from someone knowledgeable about her situation (i.e. the Doctor). No one has ever said to her "M, based on your numbers here, I think there is a strong likelihood that you'll get pregnant from IVF. Maybe not the first time, maybe not the second, but chances are pretty good for you overall". She has had a pep talk from NO ONE except me, and I give TERRIBLE pep talks. Here's my pep talk: "Hey, buck up little camper, we'll all be dead in 100 years anyway, so why does it really matter?" Pure sunshine.

Remember when I was so happy that the Dr gave us his e-mail address? Well I dug it up and used it. I sent him a long note telling him the M was paralyzed with fear over a negative IVF, that she felt as though she has no reason to hope, and that she needed a word of encouragement or she was going to bail on the whole thing. He wrote back! He said everyone in that practice was "very optimistic that she would not only respond well, but also be quite successful!". He then went on to say that her only cycle so far was an IUI-IVF conversion, which in his mind "Doesn't even count since IUI and IVF protocols are very different". That was what she needed to hear. If we erase that bad transfer, then actually M has had NO treatment since we started trying for baby #2. All other cycles have been cancelled by either insurance or over/understimulation. That negative IVF really screwed her up, and if we can say "it didn't count", well, then she's in a much better place, isn't she. So it looks like we're going to do the IVF cycle.

Things I realized when I thought we were going to stop treatments:
1) The extra room we were saving to make a bedroom for Buggins #2 would be an excellent walk-in closet and sitting area, and we could break down the wall and make a gigantic master bedroom
2) With one kid we could go on SICK vacations every year with the Buggins. Like "oh, where are the Smiths going on their vacation? Oh, their inlaws in North Carolina? Nice. The Smarshys are going to Venice, and then skiing in the Swiss Alps."
3) Poopy diapers really smell very, very bad
4) Pregnant women fart constantly

These four things were helping me get comfortable with no more kids. So, maybe I'll need to refocus on these 4 things again someday. Or maybe not.


Amy said...

I thought I was the only one who hated Tuesdays. For the SAME friggin' reasons you listed! Whoa! Weirdness... Happy Shit Day to you too, Smarshy!

One Mother's Journey said...

I love it that you emailed the doctor (and that he emailed back)! See, when we say things like "you get it"... that is exactly what we mean. My husband, despite loving me a whole heck of a lot, wouldn't think of doing something like that. It not that he wouldn't do it, he wouldn't *think* of it... that's the difference.

You did a very good thing. I'm glad that it looks like you're cycling again.

jon said...

I always thought SHIT day was Sure Happy Its Thursday. damn, it's only Tuesday?!
It sure is nice to get some positive words from the Dr!

Hopeful Mother said...

Shit Day is right.

I know what you mean about needing a pep talk. We had a failed cycle, and I got another pep talk from our doctor last week. It has helped tremendously to know that someone else (with a medical background) has hope for your odds.

Krista said...

Glad that M got the news she needed from her doctor. I put off IVF 2 for almost a year because I wasn't ready for the negative. And it really helped that my doctors kept saying, we feel very confident about your odds.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Tuesday's stink.

I am so impressed that you picked up on the pep talk thing and then did something about it! Also shocked that the dr emailed you back.

Mostly, it's nice that your wife is able to see some hope with trying another cycle. It isn't a fun place to be.

Anonymous said...

Hey - you figured it out! You rock! But you've been pretty much telling yourself that all day, haven't you?

I have another pep talk for you (in case you run out). I heard from one of our illustrious fellow-bloggers that infertility is like throwing shit at a wall... you throw enough shit, eventually some of it sticks. There are few people for whom this is not true (although they do exist, of course, but if you're one of them, you probably already know, and I'm sorry - not you, Smarshy, that other reader).

Unfortunately, being out of time, money, and inclination to get emotionally kicked in the gut/dragged into hospital for complications does get to some folk before the shit sticks. (This is not part of the pep talk, though - so let's ignore it.)

Actually works for me at the moment.


Katie said...

Well call me sh*tty but I rather like Tuesdays. Monday I'm slogging to get into the swing of the week. The first hour (or two, depending on the drama) is for nursing several cups of coffee while catching up with staff. Next comes a few hours of wading through email... inquiries from our Web site, deleting SP.AM that the filter doesn't catch, brilliant proposals from our volunteers, committee folk, and board members. (They've had the weekend to brainstorm. "So, what about us doing xyz???" Us=Me of course, but that's ok because "it's my job"!)

By the time I get to the "to do" list, it's afternoon and I feel like I haven't gotten anything done.

Then Tuesday comes and I hit the ground running.

Katie said...

P.S. Smarshy, we just moved into a 4 bedroom house. Way way way too much space for a childless couple with 2 pianos, 3 cats, and 1 dog, but it's a great neighborhood and wonderful deal on the house. I had the same idea as you about kocking down a wall to make one bedroom a gunga walk-in closet. Just big enough to fit a tanning bed and small gym. ;-)

Kristi said...

Yay on the pep talk from the RE! Hope that IVF#1 (first one that counts at least) does the trick!

Although I do love the giant MBR idea...hmmm....

Carol said...

I'm totally with you on Tuesday being shit day.

That's great that you can email your RE. I can email the IVF nurse/coordinator, but not the RE.